Outline
Social media has too much power
Introduction: Internet and
television should be limited because the society should think and be critical
by themselves and not be influenced by status quo, to think and to do what they
want.
Body Paragraph 1: Internet, television
and smartphones had been increasing as a technology that is easy to get, until
the point that almost every single person in the world has one or, has access
to them. According to a study carried out in 2013, 55% of the world's
households have digital television. Some people say that they do not believe at
all in what television transmits, because most of the cases they are controlled
and manipulated by people or private companies that only want their own benefit.
Body Paragraph 2: Some people say that
they have changed their opinion once or twice because of the n’s influence.
According to the experience of Sebastian Mosquera a guy from Colombia, he
changed his opinion about clothing brand. He said he never cared about what
brand of clothes to wear. But after watch some television commercials, videos
and advertisements on the internet, he felt influenced to buy a certain
clothing brand. He began to care about the way he dressed and his opinion on
fashion.
Body
Paragraph 3: Television should be controlled
by a transparent and impartial authority. Therefore, social media should just
give opinions and inform, in order to let the people, think if it is correct,
true or benefit for them.
Body Paragraph 4: The power that has
social media especially the Internet and television is too much and this is
bad, it is because most of the time they want that you think in the same way
they do.
Conclusion: Internet
and television had been increasing very fast until the point that they
practically take choices for us, they should give advice and try to convince
you, but you are the only one that has the last opinion. Read, think, be
critical, do an investigation, do not believe everything they say.
Dear student,
ResponderEliminarHereby I am sharing with you my feedback on your outline:
1. The introduction presents two different ideas: (a) Internet and television should be limited
(b) Society should think and be critical by themselves.
How are you going to support the fact that television alone influences the way people think? Don't you believe it is a vague idea that you would struggle to support with theory?
2. The ideas you are stating as topic sentences in paragraphs two, three and four do not seem to be appropriately consolidated. What I mean by this is that such ideas are not deep enough to analyze and develop in each paragraph. They are more like examples that do not connect well-enough with the main concepts reviewed in our course.
3. Last but not least, let's try to read more about this issue before coming up to a quick conclusion. Remember that this is an argumentative paper, not simply opinion essay.
Regards.
Jhon Losada